So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just threw up on my dentist
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
