i wish my penis had a tongue
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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