Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
