I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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