I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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