In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
