Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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