I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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