i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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