You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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