well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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