who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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