you would pick up someone in the library
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have tasted many bathrooms
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
