i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
