Can i not drive my cunt home
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
