Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
