What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
