people are starting to question the shark bite story
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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