the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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