I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
