Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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