Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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