i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
