I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
