I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
