apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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