Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
