I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
