Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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