I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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