Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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