just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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