Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
