I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
