My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
