so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
