I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
