your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
