Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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