I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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