Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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