OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
