you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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