dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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