You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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