yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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