He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
