After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
