come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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