I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
