mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
