I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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