i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Alive.
So much puke
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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